We take refuge in pride because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves – Kakuzo Okakura
Everyday an e-mail lands in my inbox from a Jonathan Lockwood Huie not sure who he is but he sends out three to four quotes per day every day. Sometimes I read them sometimes I don’t but this morning when reading my e-mails on my phone in bed I noticed the above quote and it got me thinking.
If I’m truly honest there isn’t anything my life that I can’t change for the better. It just feels easier to blame someone or something else for why it doesn’t change.
I’ve sometimes heard it said that ’ignorance is bliss’ and when faced with confronting the realities of your own inadequacies and shortfalls it’s much easier to take an unhealthy pride in what you are than face up to what you’re not.
Celebrating what we are isn’t all that bad of course but it all goes a bit sour when we become prideful in who we are and what we can do because so often it’s impossible to be prideful without comparing yourself to others and with that comes judging.
Like I said, when thinking about parts of my character, personality, relationships or circumstances, I am the one in control; they flourish or falter by my own choices and any problems that stem from them are my own responsibility and they are not fatal or permanent.
In the past those closest to me have sometimes said, “Ian, don’t beat yourself up” but the way I see it, 95% of all problems I’ve ever had have been down to my own choices and my own reactions to circumstances that are outside my control so there’s no better place to figure out the problem that looking at myself. I’m the guilty one your honour!!
Unfortunately when the process of looking the mirror begins there’s always an opportunity to take comfort in what I am good at and comparing that to how weak someone else is in the same area and so the cycle of ignorance in our own flaws continue.
For me as a committed Christian my beginning point is found in God’s word. Gaining knowledge in how God see’s me and then getting understanding in knowing who I am in Him is a good foundation to build upon. It’s only then I can begin to understand that everything he has done for me already is free and down to His amazing love and grace. It’s difficult to be prideful in who we are and what we have when we have a full working knowledge that it’s all been down to His grace.
Psalm 119:11, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
When problems arise, before I pray and seek the Lord’s intervention and before I fall into the trap of being ignorant to it by taking pride in what things are going well for me and before I beat myself up and get down on myself and declare myself a failure, at least in my thoughts.
I need to repent and then continue the quest to hide His word in my heart, for I know that 95% of all problems I face are down to bad choices founded in pride, self and conceit all of which is sin.
Thankfully I have a God that is just and faithful to forgive me but he’s also given me the scripture above to give me my all important start point.
And so I continue … making mistakes … repenting … improving and growing, making more mistakes … repenting again … improving and growing.
I look back to at this cycle in my knowing His grace and love for me in my life is what I owe everything to.
Thank you Lord